Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Life Kinda

Today I have one month. It's kinda weird to say that since I've already had one month before, I actually remember getting my chip. Anyway, need to keep my focus on today.

Summer is just moving along for us. Ally has a job and works 4-5 days a week, she's making good money-saving some and spending some. Trevor is finishing travel lacrosse this weekend, he has a tournament in Walkersville,MD and because it's a bit far for us to travel back and forth we are staying nearby in Frederick. Football starts next week so there is no down time, Trev says he won't play travel lacrosse next summer because he wants a break in between spring lacrosse and football. Suits me just fine. Abby is enjoying the Twilight series of books, she's like me and loves to read.

JR and I are, well, trying. We are caught in a tug of war. I keep taking my will back in this situation and of course, it is not getting better. The Family Afterwards describes us to a T in the first few paragraphs.

I don't know how to mend this. I feel like I should be doing something.

I have alot I'd love to say here but I just can't find the words. It's hard for me to see how broken our family has become.

Even so, the desire to drink has been lifted from me and I am so grateful for that. Even though life is off kilter, I know that it will be ok. Somehow. For that I am grateful.

10 comments:

Prayer Girl said...

OMG, the desire to drink has been lifted from you.....what a miracle.

Everything else follows from that.

Love you,
Prayer Girl

Patty said...

Glad to hear from you. You ARE doing something. Keep doing it. Sounds like the kids need a vacation from vacation!
{{HUGS}}

Gin said...

Congrats on your 30 days! That is definitely something to be admired!

An Irish Friend of Bill said...

"I don't know how to mend this. I feel like I should be doing something."

Put your sobriety first. Go to ANY LENGTHS to get well. The rest will take care of itself.
The 6 things listed on my blog are very stabilizing when you are new and don't take long.
Keep on keepin on :)
The only instant thing in AA is the coffee! :)

Steve E. said...

Gratitude! A B.I.G. word. If I remember every day to be grateful (maybe make a list) I am just about guaranteeing sobriety

Shadow said...

try to let go of the guilt and focus on the fact that you are standing and doing great!

Eli said...

Congrats on the month. It seems like it always takes longer for me to lose the cravings so that's a good thing. Hang in there-

dAAve said...

Do you have 2 months now?

Queenneenee said...

just checkin in on you. I hope all is well. Check back in would ya?

Steve E. said...

Hey Tyra, have not heard from you for awhile. Hope you are Okay! You should have two months by now? Come back, Little Sheba....

That was title of an old movie.

Peace, and hope you and yours(?) are well.
Steve