Friday, February 13, 2009

This I Know

I have a major F it attitude last night. F being sober, F AA, F it all. If there had been alcohol in my home I would've drank it. But thank God I keep my home completely alcohol free.

My mood today wasn't much better.

I talked to a good friend who has similiar problems and I value her advice. And while I did leave the conversation feeling better, I was still all up in my head, projecting all kinds of stuff.

I wasn't going to go to any meetings because I just didn't feel like facing anyone. But after dinner I realized I needed to get to one. So I got changed in a hurry and rushed off. I was able to talk with another good friend afterwards and we sat in her car and she was sharing with me about some struggles she's having. It was nice getting out of my own head and helping her.

I came home feeling better, more optimistic.

But JR was already in bed which bothered me because I was hoping we could talk a little. I decided to let it go, read Abby a story, got her settled in to bed and then got on the computer.

And in my inbox was an email from him. He is a man of little words but he put his heart in that short email.

We're going to be fine, this I know now.


Lou said...

Sounds like you have things going on that won't work themselves out in a day. But you are aware, and tackling them.
Best wishes to you.

steveroni said...

Yep, Tyra, the ROAD LESS TRAVELED is not necessarily an easy one...but it DOES have some fun times along the way...

KUTGW (an old family saying...Keep Up The Good Work")
Steve e.

Sarah said...

What a nice, hopeful post. I look forward to hearing more about you and your hubby, since ours seem so similar, lol.

Indigo said...

You got through it without drinking, that's huge. Your going to be alright hon. Some days are a bitch though aren't they? Hope today is a better day for you. (Hugs)Indigo

Anonymous said...

Lou says it all, Tyra. Each day will bring you something new to work with.

Prayer Girl said...

Amazing how getting out of ourselves and helping others can turn our "stinking thinking" around.

I'm so glad that little item in your inbox was there. God bless both of you.

molly said...

i threw many BBs across the room during my first year in a fit of 'i give ups'!! i was simply trying too hard is all. when we try to make life conform to us, it can be a little uncomfortable. if everyone would just BEHAVE right?!! these 'give up' periods can just show a new period of growth. you've reached a threshold - the old map ain't working as well and you resist. or that's what i've been told. and the anger, frustration, irritability? well, we are SURE it is because he/she/It/them did this/that/or the other thing and THEY are the cause of it.

The simpliest 'quick fix' is helping another. I've come to see exercise as vitally important..taking good care of the body. But yeah, i guarantee (!) it WILL pass.. think of a time in the past where went through a stage of stress and overwhelm - was it followed by SOME laughter? revelation? deeper understanding? positive emotions? it's all influx. can't have the 'good' without the 'bad'.

the buddha said once that 'life is not as serious as my mind makes it out to be'. I need that lesson today for sure.

hope you find smiles and laughter soon.

my hubby just walked in and asked 'how's the anger honey? is it okay to come in?' haha.. so you aren't alone my dear!

child is ill said...

I call those the F its! I get them sometimes too. We are in dangerous territory when we stay there. great that you went to a meeting. My sponsor always tells me get out of your head it's the most dangerous place to be. I love her so much