I have a major F it attitude last night. F being sober, F AA, F it all. If there had been alcohol in my home I would've drank it. But thank God I keep my home completely alcohol free.
My mood today wasn't much better.
I talked to a good friend who has similiar problems and I value her advice. And while I did leave the conversation feeling better, I was still all up in my head, projecting all kinds of stuff.
I wasn't going to go to any meetings because I just didn't feel like facing anyone. But after dinner I realized I needed to get to one. So I got changed in a hurry and rushed off. I was able to talk with another good friend afterwards and we sat in her car and she was sharing with me about some struggles she's having. It was nice getting out of my own head and helping her.
I came home feeling better, more optimistic.
But JR was already in bed which bothered me because I was hoping we could talk a little. I decided to let it go, read Abby a story, got her settled in to bed and then got on the computer.
And in my inbox was an email from him. He is a man of little words but he put his heart in that short email.
We're going to be fine, this I know now.