Wednesday, March 18, 2009


You know, I really think I'm starting to get this turn it all over to God and let Him run the show thing.

It's really that simple.

But yet, being the good alcoholic that I am, I take something so very simple and complicate the hell out of it.

I turn my will over and then yank it back. It's a wonder I can lift my arms for all the yanking I do.

I'm still not comfortable chairing meetings. I feel like I stumble over my words, I go blank, I don't make any sense. I don't want to say the wrong thing. Am I complicating it? Probably.

Today is supposed to get into the 60's, I hope so. My aching body needs some warmth. I am glad that I have managed to walk twice this week while at the park during Abby's lacrosse practices. I get discouraged when I see just how out of shape I have become but I can't focus on that. I need to focus on the positive and how I've walked twice this week which is more than last week. Progress....


Shadow said...

it's amazing though, how even a normal person, can complicate things... i catch myself saying that to my dear husband a lot... "why complicate it, say it like it is..."

and well done to your girl, for 2 walks!!!

Anonymous said...

Progress. Yes. Good attitude!

molly said...

i'm not sure it's complicating so much as it is seeking perfection in doing it.. viewing the 'ideal' way in a movie you are seeing in the mind prior to and then reviewing the movie back after the fact and seeing something different and being disappointed? when in reality - you were FINE. just FINE.

then honing in on only the 'bad' parts or what you interpret as 'bad'. like in a bad job or whathaveu. i did a talk the other day with work and just KNEW i did a 'bad' job at it but i was filtering out the okay parts and JUST looking at the bad. if you view only the bad - that doesn't leave much really. everyone tends to filter the information coming in through the environment. if you think you do a 'bad' job at something, with a core believe of 'i am not good enough or i can't do anything right' yada yada.. you will FIND a way to PROVE that you are right. Evidence. helps to look at the opposite of the belief and find evidence - so as to balance. whatever - i'm sure you were fine!!

so yeah - ask 12 people how you did and they'll give you 12 different answers. there isn't ONE RIGHT way to do anything really. always a mixed story in Reality :)

steveroni said...

You know,, please do not become offended by this: I wonder about "Finding Happiness" (your blog Title) What I wonder is, doesn't "happiness" find ME?

I'll probably lie awake thinking about this tonight--for about 2 seconds.

And I believe most everythng these days is complicated. We just tend to make everything Moreso!

Pam said...

coming by to say hi darlin'.