....We find the more one member of the family demands that the others concede to him, the more resentful they become. This makes for discord and unhappiness.
And why? Is it not because each wants to play the lead? Is not each trying to arrange the family show to his liking? Is he not unconsciously trying to see what he can take from the family life rather than give?
Taken from the Big Book, Chapter 9, page 122
Why is is that things only seem to be going "well" if things are to his liking?
I went to a meeting last night and then my friend Susan invited me and several others for dinner and coffee. We had a marvelous time, sharing, laughing. I needed it desperately. I was out late, later than I ever imagined. Time got away from us, we were having so much fun.
The whole time I was there I felt like I was doing something wrong even though I wasn't. I was spending time with friends, sharing about our sobriety, laughing about life. But I knew that he wouldn't be happy about me going even though he said it was ok.
And sure enough he's been testy all day.
I feel like we go two steps forward then three steps back.
I try not to get resentful but I am. I think about all the years I was home with our children alone while he hunted and went away to hunt. And now that I would like a little time to do something for me, something I have to do, he doesn't want to give me that. Our kids are older now and need very little from us now. If they are thirsty they can fix themselves a drink, if they are hungry they can grab a snack.
I'm tired of coming up against this all the time.
Am I asking too much to go to meetings 2-3 nights a week? Am I wrong for wanting to spend some time with my friends?
I just don't know what to do.
Daydreams and Wishes
3 days ago