Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Whine Post-At Least It's Not A Wine Post

You know, feeling like crap sucks. Big time.

I feel bad for complaining because I know there are people out there, probably reading my blog right now, who have far worse health stuff going on. But that doesn't take away from how I feel.

Yesterday I spent the day on the sofa except when I had to take kids to and from school. And I still did not feel rested. I hate that. I hate how no matter how much I sleep or rest, it's never enough. And then I have to push myself to get just about everything done and sometimes I push too hard and then I really pay for it.

I'm tired of hurting but the fatigue is the worst. I get so exhausted that it worries me to drive. This morning I was almost in tears at the thought of coming into work because I was that tired. Or maybe weary is the better word.

I spend all day fighting the fatigue and then at bedtime, I can't freaking fall asleep. It makes no sense, my body is beyond exhausted and there I lay, eyes wide open.

However, all this has sent me on quest to learn all I can about fibromyalgia and what I can do to help myself. I have to do something because I can't live this way.

So far I've learned the fatigue is normal, the pain is normal, the insomnia or whatever is normal, the brain fog is normal. At least I know I'm not losing my mind or becoming a hypochondriac. As I browsed ahead a bit in the book I'm reading I saw that I will need to give up sugar, white flour, caffeine, all artificial sweeteners-I stopped reading after that. And while I do balk about giving up all that, I realized that I consume all of those things, everyday and alot of them. So maybe there is something there and while it will be damn hard to give up that stuff, if it makes me feel better, I'm willing.

This reminds me of when I came into AA. I was feeling so bad, I was willing to do whatever I had to do to get better.

7 comments:

J-Online said...

Hoping you feel better soon. I wish you weren't feeling so bad right now. Just do what you need to do for YOU.

steveroni said...

Really I'm sorry you're feeling so lousy. No fun at all.

I'm like the guy who comes to the AA door and says, "I'll do whatever it takes to stay sober--except 'stop drinking'".

Well, I would do everything it takes to feel better from fibromyalgia (it says here!) except--stop drinking COFFEE! That's my BLOOD!

A prayer on its way to you

♥Shann♥ said...

I hope you get to feeling better soon! may as well try the things suggested. sending you love and good thoughts

Shadow said...

knowing your weariness is normal at least relieves the mind, right? take it slowly, just like you did with the drinking, one step, one item at a time, and you'll find your groove that leave you feeling more energised and healthy. good luck dear tyra!

Patty said...

A friend of mine with fibro has started swimming, or just walking in the water at the "Y", it has helped both physically and mentally. Probably hard to get motivated if you are so tired, but just thought I would pass it on.....

Cat said...

Feeling bad all the time is so hard, I had a dear friend with cancer and it broke my heart she never felt good, happy like herself... I would wait for the moment when smile would cross her lips and that made all the bad stuff worthwhile again.

I hope tommorrow feels better for you.

Cat

molly said...

when i am in pain of any kind - be it emotional or physical.. the first thing i do is 'hate' it which seems to only make it worse. eckhart tolle suggested this to a lady once - he asked 'can you accept that at this moment, this is how you feel'. he wasn't asking her to NOT feel it or change it but what it can do is lessen the psychological pain a bit. something to try. sort of an acceptance or surrender type practice. i believe irish friend has the full post on her site.

the other thing you may want to consider someday is holosync (www.centerpointe.com). it is not cheap and is requires a time committment (30 min for first 14 days, then an hour a day thereafter).. but it has helped me a lot with my threshold for tolerating pain. i'm not sure i could have done it prior to completing step 5 b/c my mind was too much of a mess prior to that. AND i had SOME meditation experience at that point. may help, may not but something to consider in the future perhaps.

hot hot baths within an hour of going to sleep can help and strength training - even if just one muscle group for 10 min. can be helpful if you can swing it. there is also a book called 'no more sleepless nights' that helped me during a time when insomnia was particular troublesome.

hope you feeling better real soon!!